George Washington's Rule #38

In working my way through George Washington's Rules for Civility and Decent Behavior, I have arrived at Rule #38 which states:

38. In visiting the sick, do not play the physician if you be not knowing therein. 

This seems self-explanatory. If you're not a doctor, don't attempt to give medical advice to your sick friends. That was George's rule.

Now, George didn't have Google. Most of us, when we ourselves or someone we love is sick or diagnosed with something, we immediately search the Internet to find out as much as we can about the illness and its possible treatments and cures. So on this rule I have to respectfully disagree with George. If I'm sick, and my doctor has prescribed antibiotics, or worse yet chemotherapy, you'd better believe I want to know first what the options are and whether or not this is a good course of action. I take advice from my friends, and I take advice and information from the Internet. And I am open to seeking out alternative,  radical solutions (like following a vegan diet to combat cholesterol, instead of taking statins).

What do you think? Do you side with George Washington, or with me?

George Washington's Rules, Rule #37

Working my way through George Washington's Rules, we are up to Rule #37 which states:

 In speaking to men of quality do not

lean nor look them full in the face, nor

approach too near them at lest keep a full pace from them. 

 I think this rule must have been based on societal norms of the time. For instance, nowadays, when you are speaking to someone, leaning toward them and looking them straight in the eye IS considered polite. It is still true, though, that people like to have about 12-18" of personal space.

 

Rule 33 - George Washington's Rules

Interpreting George Washington's Rules for Civility and Decent Behavior, Rule 33 states:

33rd	They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Precedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualities, though they have no Public charge.

When I read this rule, while considering the way things were in about 1750, I consider the English kings, and how one might become king at the age of 8, for instance. So if a child is appointed king, or a young man attains an office of vice-president in a business, or a young man becomes a Senator or Mayor, while he is certainly due respect, he should also respect those around him with more experience, even though they may not hold the title that he holds.

Rule 32 - George Washington's Rules

George Washington's Rules #32 states:

32nd

To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the chief Place in your Lodging and he to who 'is offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

This rule would have been more applicable in the 1700s. In those days, when a group stopped at a place to get lodging, it would usually be a facility with a number of rooms, but nothing like a motel or hotel nowadays. Within the lodging there would be one room that was the best.

Rule 32 states that you should defer, and offer your companion (of equal or slightly lessor station) the choicest room in the facility. Your companion would, out of courtesy, refuse the offer, but he should only refuse once, and when refusing he should acknowledge his unworthiness. Then you would insist, and he would take the room.

Courtesy and ettiquite were certainly different then, weren't they?

Rule 31 - George Washington's Rules

George Washington's Rule, Rule #31 states:

31st

If any one far Surpasses others, either in age, Estate, or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.

I believe "except" is an error on ol' George's part, and that the meaning intended would be the word "accept". I believe he is making the point that someone in a position of respect, one that "far surpasses others" in age, estate or merit (as would have been determined by the rules of the English aristocracy of the time) might deferentially defer honor people attempt to bestow upon him, but that you should not accept this effort. That individual, on the other hand, also should not attempt to push off the honor more than once or twice.

So if the group was trying to permit the honored individual to sit in the seat of honor, or to give him the best room at the inn they are stopping at, or whatever, he might say, "Oh, no! No! No!", but those around him should understand that he is just being polite and should insist and persist until the honored man accepts the fine honor they were attempting to bestow upon him.  

Rule 30 - George Washington's Rules

George Washington's Rules for Civility and Decent Behavior - Rule #30 states:

30th

In walking the highest Place in most Countries Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honor: but if three walk together the middest Place is the most Honorable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.

The ettiquite of the 1700's continues to strike me as new and odd. So the person of most importance, it seems, would walk to the right when two were walking abreast. So if you wished to honor someone you would walk on their left. If three walk together, the center is the place of honor. The statement that if two walk together "the wall is given to the most worthy" refers to walking on a sidewalk with a road on the left and a building on the right, the wall of the building is the place where the most honorable person would be walking.

Once again, George Washington's Rules reflect the way things were in England, before the United States was a free nation, where different people had different stations and places of honor in society, and you needed to learn the appropriate behavior for all the different settings.

29th Rule (George Washington's Rules)

The 29th Rule from George Washington's Rules for Civility and Decent Behavior is:

29th	When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.

Now I again consider that George Washington came up with these rules when he was 10, at a time when one's social standing was what it was, and was not affected by character or hard work. That was an entirely different time and a different way of thinking than our present time.  

The way I would apply Rule 29 to the present day would be to defer to scripture, Romans 12:3, where Paul urges each man not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, (NASB), and Philipians 2:3 which says: [Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but] with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; [4]do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

So, basically, my application of Rule 29 is that we should treat others with respect, deferring to them, and treating them the way that we ourselves wish to be treated. (Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. The "golden" rule.) 

George Washington's Rules - #28

This week's Rule is Rule #28:

28th	If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up though he be your Inferior, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.

Which seems to mean - if someone comes to speak to you while you are sitting, stand up to speak to him (even if he is your inferior). And when you seat guests who are visiting you, seat them according to their level of importance.

This reflects the thinking of levels of aristocracy that was practiced in Great Britain before the American Revolution, since the colonies were at that time part of Great Britain. 

Washington's Rules - #27

This week's rule is #27 - 

27th

Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being asked; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behavior in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.

Is this really written in English? Excuse me?

Okay, I think I this reflects the levels of aristocracy in pre-revolution America. I believe I am understanding it to say that it is not appropriate to tell someone more important than yourself to cover himself up, nor to cover the person up yourself. (What does this mean? I'm not sure.)  Likewise it is inappropriate to put your hat on in too much of a hurry (indicating you are in a hurry to leave), or to take a long time to put your hat on if you are asked (to leave if you are asked). Don't make them ask you more than once. Salute when appropriate, but within reason.

Washington's Rules - #26

This week we look at Washington's Rules #26, which says:

26th

In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen, etc., make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.

This rule demonstrates the fact the George Washington grew up when our country was still part of Great Britain, under King George III. In Washington's time there were Noblemen, and certain people that one would bow and take off the hat for. Today few people wear hats, and those who do don't know the appropriate etiquette one should exercise when wearing a hat. I'd be happy if boys just knew to remove their hat when sitting down at the table! I remember that in the military the hat goes on out of doors and comes off when entering a building. I think this is supposed to be the rule for anyone wearing a hat. There are no nobles; a nod of the head to acknowledge someone is nice, but don't bow please. :)

George Washington's Rules - #25

This week's rule, Rule #25, says:

25th	Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.

Which to me means:  While it is important not to neglect complements and ceremonious acts, it is important that these not be proffered to excess.

George Washington's Rules - #24

I've been forgetting to do Washington's Rules, so I'm going to get back to doing it weekly. This week we are doing Rule #24 which says:

24th	Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Public Spectacle.

And to me this means if you see something or someone making a public spectacle of themselves, don't laugh too loud or too long over it.